Wednesday, 17 July 2013

58-Year-Old Able-Bodied Woman Desperately Wants Surgeons To Cut Her Spinal Chord

A Cambridge University educated research scientist is so desperate to live the life of a wheelchair-bound person she is prepared to pay a doctor help her become disabled, according to Daily Mail UK.

Since childhood, Chloe Jennings-White has made several attempts at injuring herself so she can finally climb into her own wheelchair.
In 2010 she even found a doctor overseas willing to help her become disabled by cutting her sciatic and femoral nerves, but she could not afford the £16,000 costs.

'I might never be able to afford it, but I know, truly and deeply, I won't regret it if I ever can,' she said, referring to the doctor who might be able to help her become disabled.

Chloe, 58, from Salt Lake City, Utah, suffers from a rare condition called Body Integrity Identity Disorder,( BIID).

The Cambridge graduate believes both of her legs do not belong to her and dreams of being paralysed from the waist down.

'Something in my brain tells me my legs are not supposed to work,' she said. 'Having any sensation in them just feels wrong.'

For years she bandaged herself secretly, but now lives openly with her condition despite facing intolerance, insults, and sometimes online threats.

Chloe first realised she was different at the age of four, after visiting her Aunt Olive, who was using leg braces after a bike accident.

'I wanted them too,' she said. 'I wondered why I wasn't born needing them and felt something was wrong with me because I didn't have them.'

At the age of nine, Chloe even took action and pedalled her bike off a four-foot high acting stage on Hampstead Heath, north London, landing on her neck.

'I only wanted to stop my legs working but could have broken my neck or died,' she added.

From then on, Chloe lived out her fantasy in secret, pretending to be disabled when alone, playing risky sports and climbing trees in the hope of hurting her legs.

Now, as an adult, Chloe enjoys the excitement of downhill skiing and the possibility she might fall and suffer serious leg fractures.

'I ski extremely fast, and aim for the most dangerous runs,' she said.

She took part in a BIID research study with psychiatrist Michael First, from New York, who diagnosed her in Spring 2008 and recommending she use a wheelchair.

At first, she used the chair in private, but eventually gained the courage to reveal her secret to friends and work colleagues.

'The chair gives me psychological relief, instead of physical,' she said. 'I know it can be difficult for people without BIID to understand, but it's what we feel.'

In 2009 she was involved in a serious 75mph car crash and suffered pre-concussion amnesia and cannot remember the 15 minutes before the impact.

It was not a deliberate act, according to police reports, but she worries she might have subconsciously wanted it to happen.

Now, Chloe spends most of her time in a wheelchair, but has to get out for various household tasks and walk down the steps to her car.

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